DISQUS

adam · 1 year ago

i get pissed off often.

every time i flip on the news.
when i think about darfur.
when i think about china.
when i think about south africa.
when i think about atlanta.
when i remember who and what i am versus who and what God wants me to be.

it wasn't meant to be this way.

Karen · 1 year ago

When I prayed for an abusive person to stop abusing me. It didn't stop.

phillip · 1 year ago

My wife and I suffered through 3 miscarriages and 1 premature delivery before we allowed God to speak to us and move us to adopt. I was angry with God for a long time. I can't begin to imagine the pain that the Chapman family must be going through.

chris · 1 year ago

I was pissed when our pastors told my parents (and 5 other couples) that they were open windows for demons to come into our church and that they were ripping apart the church. Truth is the leadership didn't give a rats ar$e about seeing people come to know Jesus.

I got very pissed and it lasted a few years. thankfully God is sovereign and merciful and loving and he pulled me back in.

Rachel · 1 year ago

I'm angry and heartbroken at the situation, not at God. Can you imagine what it's doing to His heart?

Bottom line: we live in a fallen world, where bad things happen to good, God-following people. And sometimes God answers us by sending arms to be wrapped around us, with the promise that someday the tears will stop falling and the pain will be no more.

It's difficult and incredibly hard to grasp when we're living in the here and now. I've been there. I am there.

Tracy · 1 year ago

I so appreciate that people are willing to be honest about being angry. To admit that sometimes it's so incredibly frustrating that God's so baffling.

Last time I got pissed off was the last time my hopes/plans were thwarted. I think it happened last week. But He knows what He's doing, right? Right.

CJ Mills · 1 year ago

Nice way of putting it, Rachel. I've struggled with this as recent as 6 days ago when my son was born two months early, nearly 900 miles away from what we call home. But God has shown himself through this situation. I pray he shows himself clearly through SCC's situation.

CJ Mills // www.visualtrademark.com

Lita aka Grandma · 1 year ago

I remember the Story of a Man Named Job and found this very interesting:
"We can be angry at what has happened to us, without feeling that we are angry at God. More than that, we can recognize our anger at life's unfairness, our instinctive compassion at seeing people suffer, as coming from God who teaches us to be angry at injustice and to feel compassion for the afflicted. Instead of feeling that we are opposed to God, we can feel that our indignation is God's anger at unfairness working through us, that when we cry out, we are still on God's side, and He is still on ours." Humm food for thought

Linda Sue · 1 year ago

From Job and Isaiah comes my knowledge - all I know is we aren't likely to understand - we aren't required to be nice about accepting the horrors of this world. I do know 'cause I know their beautiful Maria is the only one at this very moment who is basking in pure love. The rest of us gotta get through this world before we graduate to real life. 'los - I dislike the trite garbage I end up spewing. After going through the death of my husband and his suffering with cancer I found out it just opened the door of my heart. I learned what it is to literally not be able to breath in grief. BUT - I am only me -absolutely no brilliance here. We do what we can do - pray first and do something positive for someone else. If you got'em - love 'em like crazy!

Brad Metzger · 1 year ago

I don't get angry at God. As a rule.

Joseph M. · 1 year ago

Do you feel like you've lost everything you can lose?
This is it, can you hear me?
When you cry do your tears ever chill up the room?
Calling out every moment of need.
Do you ever lay awake with the look in the eye?
Asking God if a wish is too big to deny.

When I skipped my friend's funeral in January. Friends aren't supposed to die at 21.

Shaun King · 1 year ago

I have been in a stupor over this today too man. I am so grieved that this has happened. Like you, I have young girls and could only imagine if something this awful happened. It just seems wrong and unfair and just plain unbelievable.

When I was 15, I was assaulted brutally during a vicious hate crime and missed the next two years of high school recovering from the injuries and the two spinal surgeries I needed.

My spinal injuries never fully healed and I have been in a great deal of pain for the 13 years since this assault happened - including enduring more surgeries to correct the problems. I have had 100s of people pray for me, powerful men and women of God lay hands on me, people with the "gift of healing" anoint me with oil, and my condition has never gotten better - only worse.

I have had people ridicule me because they feel like I must be a man of little faith because this pain has not gone away, but I have gotten to the point where I am totally convinced that God may never improve my condition and that this has nothing to do with my faith or His love for me.

God loves the Chapman family Los. His love had nothing to do with this awful tragedy and we are now stuck to see and experience the obvious randomness of when and how God intervenes in our real situations.

On days like today, I look forward to a beautiful Heaven with no pain, no injuries, no lack - where we all worship God together at His feet.

I love you all!

Pastor Shaun & Crew
www.ShaunInTheCity.com

elizabeth · 1 year ago

thanks for your honesty and authenticity. it's refreshing.

Liz · 1 year ago

no idea what this family is going thru or what you as a parent with an adopted child is feeling because of this, but i do know i find peace by listening to Rick Burgess' sermon at his son Bronner's memorial service in January 2008, Bronner, age 2, died in an accidental drowning in the family pool while Rick was speaking at a Youth Conference.

Bronner's life and Rick's message have moved me more than almost anything I've heard in my short 30 years.
you can watch and listen online:
http://www.rickandbubba.com

scroll down the front page of their website and you'll see the link for Bronner's memorial page which links to video/audio/transcript of Rick's message as well as in the Show Archives you can listen to the show from the days following Bronner's passing - amazing praise and worship during that time.

Annabelle · 1 year ago

It says the video is no longer available :(

Los · 1 year ago

Great words guys.
Thanks for being so raw.
Los

Amy Storms · 1 year ago

When I had a miscarriage. Seven years ago this week, but I'm still hurt and baffled.

And when I plead with Him to answer or reveal Himself or do SOMETHING, and He's so SILENT. Everyone says that this is supposed to be a "relationship" with God, but is it right for someone in a relationship to just not speak?? I guess He's "hard to get", like Rich Mullins sang, but holy cow...why?? We're TRYING here, God--why are You so elusive when we're honestly seeking??

Oh, that poor, precious family. God, don't let their son carry this his whole life.

whittakerwoman · 1 year ago

She reminded me of Bean. H

Rita · 1 year ago

"Community." "Lovin' up-on." "Living life." For all its cliches, I think you are exemplifying one of my favorite parts of being a Christian. Bearing one another's burdens. When there have been deaths and tragedies that strike close to home - as this one has for you - I'm always keenly aware that whatever suffering I can bear for others, maybe that's helping to lighten their load just a little.

As far as the last time I was angry at God - and for those who think that's a crime or "against God's rules" ... God is not afraid of your anger. - My sister-in-law passed away suddenly at age 29, after she and my brother had been married less than three years. I had a really difficult time with it. And almost five years later, he's still single and battles depression and is very lonely. I think I'm still a little bitter about that. Because it's not easy to see the silver lining in that situation. I guess there's always SOME comfort that "God sees the big picture" and "He won't give you more than you can bear". But is this really what He had in mind? For my brother to be lonely and depressed and single?

Yeh, still dealing with that one -- seven years later.

Sarah · 1 year ago

When my dad died. Here was this great pastor who was following God with every once of his being and then he just dies. Hyperventilating is exactly what it felt like. I was so angry for YEARS I was angry. If only I had just ran to Him for comfort and peace and not wasted years being angry.

I read the news here this morning about the Chapman's. Over and over I keep singing "How He Loves Us" in my head. I wish I didn't have to work because I really just want to be on my knees.

brandiandboys · 1 year ago

We had friends who lost a baby 2 1/2 hours after birth. Their story is heartbreaking, but the amazing part is this family was willing to talk about it at church 3 weeks after sweet Audrey's death. Here's the video link, it is 22 minutes, but worth every second!!

http://withoutwax.tv/2008/04/28/rocked-to-my-core/

Jake · 1 year ago

A little over a year ago, a 23 year old travelling ministry leader and my senior pastor were in a serious electrical fire at our church. Both of them caught on fire. The young man had over 75% of his body 3rd degree burned. Less than a week later he died.

There were lots of "why?" questions. LOTS.

For me personally, I think it is times like these that really test your's and my faith. Faith is like a tree. When a storm comes, it doesn't move. Nothing will move it. Faith says, "God, I will be here today. I will be here 100 years from now. I trust You and Your word."

God is LOVE. We don't know why this happened, but we cannot let it move us into anger with God, nor let us doubt Him/His Word/His plan.

Satan is the god of this world. He is constantly throwing crap at us, and if we aren't speaking the word and doing WHAT WE KNOW TO DO, then we are subject to it. Just a thought; how do we know the driver was not ignoring a mjor prompting of the Holy Spirit at the time this happened? Not trying to be critical here.

I am very grieved over this as well. It is SO devastating. And I am SO deeply praying this tragedy does not move people into resentment with God.

Just my $.02

April · 1 year ago

Carlos,
I completely understand where you are coming from. I love the line about God watching you with patient eyes. He does understand that we are angry, and don't understand. He is big enough to handle our anger. Your heart is in the right place and God will honor that.

keri · 1 year ago

i lost my 15 yr old cousin this monday to a brain tumor. he leaves behind a brother and sister and 2 dear parents (his father is a pastor in pine mtn, ga)...so....i have been wrestling with this heartbreak all week and don't understand why God chooses these kinds of things to be good. so i guess i could say i've been pissed off too! (and also hurting for the chapman family! so tragic!!)

Jenn · 1 year ago

Thanks for being honest with your thoughts. There is no reason to hide your feelings because he knows them. I am so confused and sad today.

A couple of weeks ago we had neighbors who lost one of their twins to a rare and deadly disease. Sadly they will probably have to go through this again because the other twin also has the disease and her health is fading.

I just do not understand. Maybe we can not understand with our "Earthly" perspectives - maybe the answers will come one day when we can ask Him in person.

yeidy · 1 year ago

when I ask God to heal my dad from gangrene on his one leg but he ended up lossing both and later his life too...
when I asked him to heal my mom because she was all I had left and he took her too even though she worshiped him and begged him for healing.
When I asked Him to send me a godly husband to start my own family since I feel so orphaned without a family.
When I asked Him to open the doors for a creative job and I lost my job and the economy went south...
Geeze this is a pandora box! I got issues. Now that Im crying Im going to my "prayer closet" to have the Lord look at me with His patient eyes too.
Thanks Los you know youre my brother.
Yeidy

adam · 1 year ago

I don't understand it. Not at all. Any of it. Shakes my faith sometimes.

kim · 1 year ago

angry? yes. when the answer is silence, I get angry.

i've been both trying to and trying not to imagine what the Chapman family are going through today. My heart breaks for the big brother, and for the littlest girl that will be baffled as to the continued absence of her sister.

I don't get it. I know we need to understand that what happens during our life on earth isn't all there is, but... I still don't get it.

Robb · 1 year ago

This is definitely sad and tradgic, but it doesn't piss me off. I don't get that. I don't get why people get mad about stuff like this, or blame God for stuff like this. If it were my child, would I be freakin out? YES! But if heaven is what we say, than it's not a bad day when you die. It's sad for us, and for the family, but it's not something that makes me question God.

What does make me question God is that the majority of the humans on this planet don't know Him. What messes me up is trying to understand why God allows so many people to believe in false religions. And why do so many people not believe in a religion, or faith, at all? Will all these people really be seperated from God forever? What percentage of people alive today are going to heaven? 30%? 20%? Or a very generous 40%? That means that BILLIONS of people will NOT go to heaven. That's troubling! That's confusing. That is something that really shakes me and makes me question.

A five year old girl being tradgically killed in an accident is heartbreaking, but the idea that BILLIONS of people will never know God is what really has me questioning God.

Laura · 1 year ago

There are no real answers....can't stand the pious platitudes that people spew when tragedy happens. I too have buried a child...no parent should ever have to do this. I am so done asking why? There is no real answer for that...the only question left to ask is, "Now what?" I know He will answer that...keep being real and crying out. I know I am!

John Ireland · 1 year ago

exactly, los.

i went on a mile-long walk today largely due to the chapman family tragedy. i trust God, i love God, i know He loves me...and there is so much i do not understand at all.

today, i have thought about maria, your losiah, the girl my wife and i hope to adopt from overseas some day, and lots of others kids i know who have claimed a piece of my heart.

the myanmar and china tragedies happened while we were in the midst of a teaching series connected to a capital campaign. though i know all the amazing things God is doing at qcc and the reasons why we need more space, it was hard for my heart to be fully in the whole deal.

come, Lord Jesus...

Texas in Africa · 1 year ago

I'm mad as hell that seven Republican senators are holding up PEPFAR funding to treat HIV/AIDS for African children and adults. My sponsor child, who has stage 3 HIV, is, thank goodness, getting treatment under other funding, but there are millions of kids like him who will die if they don't reauthorize this program.

And I'm not okay with God allowing the suffering of innocents.

Kyle P. · 1 year ago

Los, all I can say is God only knows. I put my thoughts down too. You can read them here: http://tinyurl.com/6oj4w3

God is good. But sometimes I don't like Him.

rebeccamoon · 1 year ago

thanks for being so honest about this.
their situation has consumed my thoughts all day.
and sometimes i'm afraid that my frustration and confusion equals lack of faith.
i know God is sovereign, and was not surprised.
but i was.
i don't get it.

and i can't get the lyrics to "blessed be your name" out of my head. sometimes trust is a difficult choice.

Cyndi · 1 year ago

I can to post about Audrey's story ( http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/search?updat... ), but I see its already been posted. When I get upset about things now I rememeber Audreys parents and all that has come from her story and then I remember God is still in control.

Robb · 1 year ago

My comments were not a pious platitude. I really am questioning the christian faith, the legitimacy of other faiths, and maybe that christians don't have the corner on heaven. I'm not trying to minimize the pain or tradgedy of the death of a child. What I am saying is that these types of horrible accidents don't make me question God. What does make me question God is the idea that so many are supposedly going to hell. And I don't say this from a place of piety! I am no model and don't tell anyone to be like me! And I'm not saying that b/c heaven/hell makes me question God, that I'm pious in my questions, or that my questions are better than yours! In fact, I don't like where I am at spiritually at all! What revelation I thought I had is in question. And it is so not b/c of the death of a child, or people being killed in a cyclone, or in the World Trade Center. I question God b/c of the idea that he would allow those innocent people who are killed in these tragedies to go to hell.

Brian Baute · 1 year ago

I felt the same way when my cousin was stillborn a few years ago and reflected on it here: http://www.brianbaute.com/archives/2004/12/trea... . I feel the same way today.

shan · 1 year ago

i don't get it at all. things like this make me wonder "why pray?"...if God is gonna let things happen the way He does and He already has our lives planned out, then why pray. we can pray for our kids safety, health, etc. but when things like this happen it is very confusing. i know He is a loving God who does care and is patient with us when we are "pissed" and when people say "everything happens for a reason and we'll understand one day", but...this is not right.
i can't imagine what this amazing family is going through. maria's parents, siblings, especially her brother. i pray for peace & comfort for them because that seems like the only thing that would help if i was in their situation, because i can't imagine ever understanding "why?"...no matter how much someone prayed for me to.
p.s.~i DO believe in prayer and know that it changes things and brings you closer to God, but when something like this happens, my faith is definitely challenged.

Los · 1 year ago

Robb. I think you have great questions. Just remember that God is a very patient God. And as much as I try to represent Him on a daily basis, I fail miserably more times than not. I want the people who call me "pastor" to know that they are being led by someone who falls and gets back up. That is all. My pissed offness will subside. god will show me His face. And in the end my faith will be grown.
Great thoughts.
May we all struggle OUT LOUD on this journey.
Keep your thoughts coming.

Mary · 1 year ago

When my third child died an hour after she was born. I didn't talk to God for a year. Except to give Him the finger sometimes. We're good now. It was a long and ugly road. It changed me forever.

LeAnn · 1 year ago

The last time I was really pissed off at God (can I even say that I was "pissed off" at God?...that seems so horrible to say) was when my grandmother died. She went into the hospital on September 9, 2001. She died 9 days later on September 18, 2001. I was so incredibly pissed off at God for taking her from us after she had come through breast cancer surgery and treatment. The drs. say she died as a result of a weak heart and that her heart just couldn't take any more treatment, etc. I was so mad at Him for so long. I would wake up in the middle of the night and just be crying and crying. I don't know how or why I was able to not be so angry at Him anymore, but it just seemed to subside over time. I guess it'll all make sense in time, His time.

Amy (Dandelion Seeds) · 1 year ago

Can I just thank you for having this out there... it's exactly what I've been feeling a lot lately as my husband and I are called into ministry and leave behind the life we created over 15 years... I hate watching my husband loose his business and everything he worked for over the past 7 years be sold on a k-bid auction for little or nothing... I'm angry at how this will all end up... how we feel stuck and have no idea what will happen, and yet, we can only obey what He's asked knowing we've already walked where He isn't... and that's not pretty... and yet, times like this can also break me to the point of wishing we could go back... and I know that's awful... but some days, being a Christian is almost too hard... and I just don't understand.

Robin · 1 year ago

When, 3 years ago, my nephew passed away 2 days prior to his due date...my sister still had to deliver all 8 pounds of his beautiful body, etc. Struggled with why my amazing sister and brother-n-law, who are the best Christians I know, weren't given their child, when your avaerage hoochie h.s. girl can give birth left and right. Baffled. Angry.
I then left for a mission trip to Malaysia 2 weeks later to tell an unbelieving land about the love of Christ.
Hardest thing I've evr been through. Ever.

God is good. Above all, we have to remember that God is good. Even when we don't understand.

Shaun King · 1 year ago

Hey Robb. Do you have kids?

Just curious.

Pastor Shaun & Crew

Robb · 1 year ago

I have two boys, 11 and 9

hollybird · 1 year ago

i spent years ticked off at God. YEARS. From stuff like abuse, to the loss of 4 children to miscarriage, to a son who had 6 surgeries in 11 months last year. All of it made me mad. But it never changed God. that's the great thing about telling God we are angry with Him. The freedom in knowing He hears that and still loves us WHOLLY is beautiful. it changes us from the inside. I wouldn't be where i am now without the freedom to express my anger with my savior!

Chadwick · 1 year ago

I guess today made me take some extra time with my daughthers, extra hug, extra goodnight time, etc... Life is just too precious and way too short. We can never take any of it for granted because we are not promised tomorrow.

14 years ago I had been married for about 6 months when I was diagnosed with crohn's disease and came very close to dying. Leaving my 19 year old bride as a widow. I was very angry at God for what was being taken from me.

When these things happen to us we never fully understand why when we are in the middle of the. Honestly, 14 years out, I still don't understand.

www.confessionsofacrohnspatient.blogspot.com

sarah · 1 year ago

i totally understand the frustration... i found out about them this morning right before the conference, through your blog actually. i prayed for them for like 2 straight hours this morning as i was getting ready and commuting to WIBO. even now, my heart is so heavy for them. im really concerned about their son...i have no doubt satan is trying to tear him down with feelings of immense guilt and grief. im desperately praying for his release from that.

thanks for being honest, Los.

Dave © · 1 year ago

My family and I have been going through a storm of sorts. We adopted a beautiful little girl from Guatemala and brought her home in January 2007. In July 2007, our then-one-year-old daughter was diagnosed with a fatal disease and was given 2-3 years to live.

When we first found out about Carmen's diagnosis, I thought, "Wow, I guess God has a different plan for her and for us." I wasn't angry at all. I suppose that some might call it denial and perhaps it was.

But as the realities starting setting in and I realized that some of MY plans were going to be put on hold...the resentment, frustration and anger began to rise up within me.

Almost a year later, Carmen is still with us but is not doing well at all.

I still get angry but, at the same time, I have never EVER felt as close to God as I do now. He has used this horrible situation to expose my selfishness, to soften my heart about the pain that others endure, to be a comforter when others need help. (If you knew me at all, you would recognize the miracle in those last statements). I cannot possibly list the great things God is doing in us, through us, and around us. He has us in the palm of His almighty hands and never lets go!!! He has the Chapmans in the palm of His hands, too...and He's not gonna let them go either.

I believe that through this disasterous event, fresh awareness will be brought to the 140 million orphans around the world who need a home and need to be cared for and to be loved.

I am not suggesting that this is God's motivation for allowing this to happen. None of us know that. But He has promised us that He will work ALL Things for the good of those who are called according to His purposes.

One of my new favorite verses is Isaiah 41:10, which reads:

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Heidi Reed · 1 year ago

When my baby died at 8 1/2 weeks gestation.
When I saw my motionless, heartbeatless, floating in fluid, tiny baby with bloated belly, hands and feet.
Why?
How?
Even though I asked You for this baby?
Even though you answered?
Why this?

sarah · 1 year ago

oh, i forgot to add my story about the time i was really pissed off at God.
man, i remember it so vividly... 2005/early 2006. i had recently gone to England to do an independent internship on a YWAM base in Derby (NOT a dts, mind you). i returned to the states and started working two mindless jobs to make money so i could hopefully go on an offical dts with YWAM. i applied and was accepted, so naturally i was pretty stoked.
however, not long after getting accepted, i got an email from the director dude saying basically that, in light of some information i gave him later (essentially that i had been battling an eating disorder for the past year and was struggling a little but was finally getting a handle on things), he had talked it over with the other leaders and decided that a dts wouldnt be the best thing for me at the time.
i was SO incredibly pissed. i yelled at God, i cried..i was so convinced the dts was exactly what i needed, and i was so mad at the disease that had kept me from my goals. i also knew that i had blown my one shot--they said i could reapply the following year, but i knew at that point i would have to have a job and be making some sort of income to pay off my student loans.
so that was it. finis.

ive never been so angry at God..or myself. it was a rough time, but fortunately through His grace, ive come to see it all in a new light. it took awhile to understand the "why", and sometimes i still dont get it, but i know He had my best interests in mind.

The Domestic Goddess · 1 year ago

I alternate between being humbled by the answer and being totally ticked off. My sons are both autistic, one has never spoken. It hurts so badly and yet it motivates me. I know I was chosen to be their mother for a reason and I know there is a plan for us, something I do not yet understand. But this week we reached critical mass and I was so angry. And then I was angry with myself for blaming God. And then I cried. And then I felt better. And today? Not angry.

Nick · 1 year ago

I was heartbroken at this news as well. Confused. Speechless. I read an entry from My Utmost for His Highest today for May 22, and it hit on this topic specifically, so it eased my mind a little, but as I look at my own children and family, it makes me realize they are just as vulnerable and I hate that! I look at S.C.Chapman and all that he has done for God, yet he and his family are not immune or given a free pass, therefore I know I don't "deserve" one either and it is scary. This situation is hard.

Nick · 1 year ago

The last time I was pissed off at an answer God gave me would fall into two different times but surrounding the same issue: #1 was when I felt Him call me out of full time ministry to plug in with a church plant as a volunteer, when they hired for the position I am "skilled" at they never even interviewed me...it was more of a surprise hire of a friend and former under study, which is understandable. However I am stuck in a job I hate and still volunteering. #2 Would be shortly after I left my former church the pastor decided to go off the deep end and sell the church for some weird reason. There was a huge split...I knew the truth of the whole situation, but was no longer in a position (since I left) to stop the pastor from deceiving the people. I prayed that God would stop him, but it was allowed to happen, now a ton of people got wounded and are either out of church or sitting in seat somewhere, talents going to waste!

Joni · 1 year ago

When tragedies happen, I get mad at God (or maybe at the circumstances) because the non-Christians that know I follow Christ ask me why and I don't have an answer. I get pissed that it makes God look like a masochist to those who don't know him or care. And it takes a lot of resistance for me not to agree. And it makes me look like an idiot for following him. I know this world is not the be all and end all for us and to keep our eyes on the eternal but sometimes... And Maria is not lost. She's partying right now but that does not take away the ache in her family's hearts and arms. I hope they will have the privilege to grieve privately and to raise their fists if they need to. I'm so worried for the brother. I know a woman whose son hurt a sibling. How do you as a parent love them both?

And to be honest, I think instead of getting mad at God, I just sit and take it. Coming from my background, I'm just used to it.

Thanks for the therapy session Los. Send me the bill.

lloyd owens · 1 year ago

In dec of last year on Christmas day we found out we were pregnant and three days later we had a miscarraige. God not only said no, but we fasted and prayed and prayed some more and nothing... i cried like i had never cried before!!! But God is... today we are 12 weeks pregnant and I cant wait until Zoe gets here!!!!

I know this is supposed to be God said no, but we cant do a no without a yes, we never know who is reading or watching...

We have to keep going...

emily · 1 year ago

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts and neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

This has given me comfort this past week as we struggle big time with our failed adoption. We have been waiting for a year to bring home two kids from Ethiopia and just last week the Lord said NO to the two that we felt so strongly were our own. It is so painful and we don't understand.

I do know that God is good all the time, this didn't fall through His hands and that He sees the big picture and my finite mind only sees the here and now. We are so confused, but I rest in the knowledge that He is sovereign and ultimately works all things for our good and His glory.

I can't even imagine the loss the Chapman family is going through. I definitely can't see an ounce of good today but trust that He is Lord of all. I am really praying for Will Frankiln! Again, can't imagine.

Christy from IA · 1 year ago

When I pulled my 9 month old child out of a tub after an accidental bathtub drowning. It's been 5 years...

At first, I didn't think I was mad at God. Only since March am I admitting that I am really pissed. My daughter lost her sister. My marriage is on strange ground lately. My family lost its innocence that morning. And I'm really mad about it.

The hardest thing is that I was responsible for her care that morning. As many times as people have told me that accidents happen, I cannot sleep at night. It's been a long time since I slept more than 3 hours at a stretch. I live in constant terror that something will happen to one of the surviving kids. It's a terrible way to parent.

Am I pissed? Yup, I am.

JustEnjoyHim/Judy · 1 year ago

I still get angry at Him, but am trying to work through it. For giving me terminal cancer that will give me 5-9 more years of life (so my oncologist says). I get angry because this won't allow me to raise my 6 year old son to adulthood, a son who was adopted and has already lost his first mother.

I pray that the oncologist is wrong in her estimation because if she's not, I think it's totally unfair for my boy to experience the loss of a second mother. So I get angry, still. Not as angry as I did at first, but I do get angry.

I don't think it's wrong to get angry with God. I talked to a pastor about it and she said it's OK, that "God expects it." In my way of thinking, at least I'm still communicating with Him.

FireMom · 1 year ago

I've been trying to make sense of the Chapman tragedy for a day and a half now. I'm switching between angry and sad. Prayers, of course.

Last time I was really angry at God? News from my daughter's family that left me absolutely shocked... and so worried for my daughter. :(

Paige · 1 year ago

I get angry alot...

I volunteer for a rape crisis center and after a year of receiving late night phone calls to the crisis line from children, mothers, and scared young girls about the abuse that they've faced silently for years or the incidents that they can no longer deal with on their own, It still hits me like a wave every time. I get angry with God, and I feel that it's healthy. To not feel this extreme hurt and raw questioning in your core is somewhat unhealthy sounding to me. Not only do I get mad at God though, I sometimes get mad at other christians too. There are those who are always so quick to say "this has a plan" or "from this something GREAT will happen" I'm sorry, but you come tell a 13 year old girl that something great is going to come from the sexual assualt that she's experienced at the hand of her father for the past 5 years. I do belive that God has an ultimately perfect plan, but sometimes the things along the road to that plan are not so perfect. Sometimes you may never find the really good things in some situations, you just have to hope and trust that it will be reconcilled in some way or another. And those are the two virtues that I wish christians everywhere would be a little more authentic about admiting their difficulty.

Thanks los, for admitting the difficulty.

Van Metschke · 1 year ago

The last time I was pissed off at an answer God gave me?
What time is it right now?

ec · 1 year ago

Just wanted to say thank you for posting this. I have been really struggling with this and wresting with God as this has seemed to shake my faith a little. Reading all of the comments have helped.